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The Horror Movie Tag

Saturday, 31 October 2020

 1. What is your favorite scary movie?

That's a really tough one. I have a lot I watch quite a bit. I think The Conjuring is my favorite because it was the first movie to actually scare me in my adult life. Most horror movies scared me as a kid. But as an adult I could go back and watch anything that scared me as a kid, and be perfectly fine. The Conjuring was the first one that scared me in a long, long while.



2. What is the 1st horror movie you ever remember watching?

My earliest horror memory was one day when I was but a child and my mother thought I might like the movie Alien, the sci-fi horror film from 1979 starring Sigourney Weaver. I loved it. It didn't scare me, but it was 




3. What type of horror films are your favorite?

Seeing as The Conjuring is my favorite horror film, it may seem obvious that my favorite type of horror film is paranormal. That can encompass ghosts or demons. I find those the scariest because I believe ghosts exist. I've had a few paranormal experiences and I almost copied my wife and wrote a blog about it but I decided against it. Instead, I'll share Anne's with you, which you can find here.

4. What type of horror film do you not like?

Revenge style films based on rape. There are many reasons to not like a movie like that. The first and most obvious is that it's a horrid topic and a traumatic event is being used for shock value. Also, it's lazy writing. It's like killing a character when it doesn't serve the plot somehow. It's used to get a cheap emotional response. So not only can it be potentially triggering, not only is it a awful topic, but it's just plain lazy. 

5. What movie has given you nightmares?

The 1986 version of Invaders from Mars. Scared the hell out of me. The idea that all these people were getting taken over by Martian invaders and no one could tell was what really scared me. Especially the end of the movie when David wakes up and finds out it's all a dream and then sees the alien ship land just like he did when he was dreaming. THAT scared me. 



6. What is the last movie that actually scared you?

Annabelle Creation scared me. Best of all, it did it without a ton of jump scares. The first Annabelle movie was one of the weakest in the Conjuringverse but they really brought it back with the good sequels.





7. Who is your favorite horror movie villain, why?

Michael Myers. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. He's the most bad ass. He keeps coming back and he's not some dream monster like Freddy or some undead killing machine like Jason. He's a real dude in a mask and even though it may be far fetched, the ways they kill him are survivable.



8. Who is the worst horror movie villain, why?

I almost said The Babadook or The Entity (It Follows) but those weren't bad villains, their movies were just awful. I also almost said Chucky because come on! He's a doll. Kick him in the face and get the hell out of the house! It wasn't until my wife reminded me that we saw a film called The Bye Bye Man from 2017 that I had my answer. She was the real one with the answer, I'm just copying her homework.

The Bye Bye Man didn't actually do anything and he wasn't scary. Look at those jackets hanging on the wall. Guess who's going to show up there? The Bye Bye Man! Not only is the name stupid, but The Bye Bye Man doesn't really hurt you. He just makes you go crazy until you kill yourself and sometimes take others with you. 



9. Worst horror movie you've ever seen?

If I wanted to tease my wife I'd say Treehouse, a film from 2014 that was bad in so many ways, but the title of "the worst" should take more into account. So instead of some straight to DVD d-list horror, I'm going to name a popular one that didn't deserve the hype.

The Babadook was an awful film. I know, I know. I get what the film was trying to be about. It was trying to be about a mother dealing with an autistic child while working with dementia patients and how it all affects her mental state and how her mental state affects her child. But that's not what was promised by the trailer AND the kids mental illness was really just used for uncomfortable outbursts to add to the mother's depression. Couple that with the horrid ending and you get the worst film I've ever seen. I know the film was supposed to stand for more, but that doesn't make it good.





10. Favorite horror movie series

I kind of already answered this one so I'll just reiterate and say The Conjuringverse. Not only does my favorite horror film belong to the franchise, but there was only one movie out of the six (so far) that I didn't like. And it's not like I hated The Nun. I've seen worse horror films. But overall The Conjuringverse was the best. 

11. Which horror film do you think is underrated?

This was probably the hardest question of the bunch. So many movies that used to be made fun of or hated because they were bad or cheesy are no loved by film nerds because more and more people are realizing that you can like films that aren't "good." 

My answer is House on Haunted Hill from 1999 with the stacked cast of Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Taye Diggs, Ali Larter, Peter Gallagher, and Chris Kattan. It was a critically panned movie, but remember that critics are movie hating jerks. This was a fun 90's horror that was over-the-top and tryhard at times, but it was enjoyable. It was also hated because it was a remake of a Vincent Price film from 1959, but we can love both!



12. What scenes have grossed you out the most?

Anne just made me watch a film called Would You Rather and there's a scene where a dude has to cut his eye with a razor blade. That was super SUPER hard to watch.



13. If horror movies were real, would you rather be in a zombie apocalypse, an alien abduction, or a haunted house?

Easy! Haunted house! Zombie apocalypse would just mess up the whole world. Alien abduction you have the worry about how to get back home if they take you back to their planet. But with a haunted house you have many ways of making it out alive. First and probably easiest, you can leave. If it's a localized hunting the ghosts won't follow you. If it's demons or something a church and an exorcism sounds right up your alley. Either way it's a lot more promising than either of the other two options.



The Ghostbusters' Real Enemy

Tuesday, 20 October 2020


The following blog is a repost from a piece I did for somewhatnerdy.com. Be sure to stop by SomewhatNerdy to keep tabs on our podcasts (including mine: Future Flicks with Billiam) and check out our old blog posts. The reason I'm reposting this is because I'm working on a part 2 for this one and if I'm going to post part 2 on my blog, part 1 should be there too. So enjoy!



We all love Ghostbusters. It’s a classic. It’s a great movie. Many of us nerds could recreate the movie from memory. But I ask you this question. Who was the main villain? The main antagonist in Ghostbusters? If you said Gozer the Gozarean, you’re not wrong, but you’re also not right. The true villain, the true evil, is Walter Peck.


If you haven’t watched the film in a while you may be wondering who I’m talking about. I’m talking about Walter Peck from the Environmental Protection Agency. That’s right. The pencil pusher from the EPA is the biggest bad guy in the first film. Allow me to explain.





Two things made me want to write this blog. The first is that this last Halloween, my wife and I rewatched Ghostbusters 1 and 2 as well as the reboot. And yes, I’ll still defend the reboot as a good movie until the day I die. But during the original I noticed a few things that Peck said that I had never noticed before. So afterward, I googled him to find the quotes and found a blog some random person wrote about how Walter Peck was the true hero of the film. I read the blog, keeping an open mind, and the conclusion I came to was that not only was the author wrong, but Walter Peck is the true villain of Ghostbusters.


We all love the environment, right? It allows us to live. Trees give us oxygen, water falls from the sky, and the animals and vegetables we eat need the land to grow. So people who help protect that are our friends, right? Well, maybe some. But not Walter Peck.


Here’s what happened if you look at it from just the surface. The Ghostbusters had been open for business for a while when they get a visit from Walter Peck of the EPA. He has terrible bedside manner, but that doesn’t necessarily make him a bad guy.  The right off the bat, Peter Venkman is mean and won’t even listen to what Peck has to say. So if we look at just that part of their interactions, Peck was wronged and Venkman is the bad guy. Here’s exactly what Peck said when voicing his concerns to Venkman.





“Well, because I’m curious. I want to know more about what you do here! Frankly, there have been a lot of wild stories in the media and we want to assess for any possible environmental impact from your operation! For instance, the presence of noxious, possibly hazardous waste chemicals in your basement! Now you either show me what is down there or I come back with a court order.”


So from this alone, Peck’s only crime was being standoffish. He didn’t offer any proof that there were environmental risk, but it’s better to be safe than sorry, right? The court order could be for a basic search, an investigation, right? Sure.


So here’s what should have happened. Peck would have gone back to his office and reported to his superiors, got a court order to search and evaluate the property and equipment the Ghostbusters use and then decide if anything needs to be changed or fixed to help lessen their impact of the environment.


Instead what he does is he does get a court order, but it’s to shut down the power grid to the containment unit. First off, what kind of judge would sign that without any proof. He said that the Ghostbusters were using dangerous chemicals but where were they? If they really were in the basement then that should be easy. Warrant for to search for dangerous chemicals THEN take the next steps. But no. Peck returns just as Egon and the rest of the team were starting to understand the Zuul and Gozer situation and shuts off important equipment that he admits, and the Con Edison (a power company in New York) worker also admits he has no idea what could happen if it’s turned off. Not only that, but Egon Spengler, the man who created this whole system, tells the it would be a bad idea.


So let’s go over what we have so far. First is that Walter Peck was wronged by Peter Venkman and instead of coming back with a court order for an investigation, comes back to shut down delicate technology that he doesn’t know A: Its purpose, B: how it works, and C: the ramifications of turning it off. Are we all caught up? Good.


So what happens as a result? All the ghosts that the gang has captured are released in an explosive event that takes the top off their building. The released ghosts just don’t go back to their old haunts. They all go to Dana’s Central Park West apartment which just happens to be where Zuul the Gatekeeper is waiting. So the ghosts and their spiritual energy are loose but to top it all off, the Keymaster Vinz Clortho (in Louis Tulley’s body) got away from Egon and now knows where to go to find the Gatekeeper and summon Gozer the Gozarean.




What would have happened if Peck had never turned off the containment unit? We may never know the whole story, but here’s what we can assume based on where the story was headed. Vinz Clortho was under the care of Egon in the Ghostbusters HQ. He was being studied and kept safe. Dana Barrett, having been taken over by Zuul the Gatekeeper, was in her own apartment awaiting the Keymaster. Gozer had to be summoned at 550 Central Park West (where Dana lived) because the building was designed by Ivo Shandor, the leader of a Gozer cult who was obsessed with summoning Gozer into our world. The Gatekeeper and Keymaster had to meet and it had to be in that building because the building was built very specifically and made out of a magnesium-tungsten alloy which was chosen to aid in the summoning of Gozer. So they had to meet and they had to do so in the apartment. Egon was watching Vinz and even says that the two meeting would be a bad idea. So we can assume that Egon wouldn’t have let Zuul and Vinz get too close to each other. Would Gozer have eventually been summoned? Maybe. We don’t know what other tricks the Sumerian god had up its sleeve. But what we do know for a fact is that the return of Gozer would have been delayed. Maybe, just maybe, Egon and Ray could have figured out a way to prevent Gozer from coming. Maybe he could have figured out a way to extract Zuul and Vinz Clortho from Dana and Louis. Could the Ghostbusters have put Zuul and Clortho in the containment unit?


We can assume they had to meet while possessing humans. Why can we assume this? Because when they initially broke out of their dog statues on top of the Shandor building, they were already together. If all they needed was to be next to each other then Gozer would have been summoned right there. But no. They needed to possess humans and then get together and they were able to get together thanks to the actions of one Walter Peck from the EPA.


So is that all Walter Peck did? No, not at all. It doesn’t stop there. Like a true villain he was only getting started. If we wanted to be generous we could have written off his previous actions as momentary weakness. Being caught up in the moment. He felt disrespected and embarrassed by how Venkman treated him and shutting off the containment unit was the culmination of that embarrassment. But then we get to the post explosion fallout.


We see Walter Peck a few more times during the film. In fact, we see him again right outside the firehouse when Peck and the Ghostbusters (mainly Egon) are arguing and the Ghostbusters are sent to jail. Peck tells the cops that “these men are in direct violation of the Environmental Protection Act and this explosion is a direct result of it.” Egon, instead of defending himself using science, just says “Your mother!” and attacks Peck. So the cops, who don’t know any better, who are just doing what a representative of a government agency is telling them, arrest the Ghostbusters and take them to jail. So Peck lied to the police. We all know that the explosion is his fault for turning off the containment unit. Let us move on.





We see Walter Peck next in the Mayor’s office after he summons the Ghostbusters because no one knows what’s going on. Peck arrives at this time too and tells Mayor Lenny what he thinks is going on, and what he says reveals a lot about his character. He says:


“I am Walter Peck, sir, and I’m prepared to make a full report. These men are consummate snowball artists! They use sensitive nerve gases to induce hallucinations. People think they’re seeing ghosts! And they call these bozos, who conveniently show up to deal with the problem with a fake electronic light show!”

Here we catch Peck in another lie. There was no nerve gas. Peck had only been on the Ghostbusters property twice and neither time did he find anything. If he had some other proof, like proof that Egon or Ray purchased the chemicals to make nerve gas, then that would be one thing. But Walter Peck doesn’t offer up anything to back up his argument. He just claims the Ghostbusters are frauds.

So he didn’t believe in ghosts and thought the Ghostbusters were con artists. That’s fair. If you’re not one of the people who actually saw a ghost and needed their services, then you may be a naysayer. But that still doesn’t excuse his actions which, thanks to my flawless logic, we now know caused the coming of Gozer.  

This is all why Walter Peck was the true bad guy. If he didn’t do what he did, then Egon and Ray would have had more time to study Vinz and Zuul. They may have thought of a solution and could have saved lives. Even though we didn’t see it, I refused to believe that no one died that day. The ground was cracking, pieces of the building were falling off and crashing down on the onlookers below. The Stay Puft Marshmallow man stepped on a church! You know that during and event like that there would be people in there praying.





Walter Peck caused massive destruction which resulted in the loss of lives all because he had a vendetta against the Ghostbusters and decided to jump to conclusions without any proof. We know, thanks to the first thirty minutes of Ghostbusters 2, that the Ghostbusters are blamed heavily for what happened. Not only that but they are the victims of many lawsuits and they disband after they’re banned from busting ghosts by the court.


Walter Peck not only caused the nearly cataclysmic events of Ghostbusters but also destroyed the livelihood of the four heroes who saved New York and this is why he’s the true villain of the first movie. The repercussions of his actions reach far beyond the first movie and are felt up until the Ghostbusters judicial restraining order is dropped by Judge Stephen Wexler in Ghostbusters II. Gozer’s evil stops at the end of the first film but Walter Peck’s evil lasts much longer. Walter Peck, ladies and gentlemen. Your true villain.

The Hallotober Tag 2020

Monday, 12 October 2020

Hello friends! It's time for another Tag, this time it's the Hallotober tag. I was tagged by my wonderful wife RootingBranches so don't forget to go show her some love and check out her answers for this tag. The rules are as follows:

1. Thank the person who tagged you and link to their post
2. Put the rules at the beginning or after the introduction
3. Answer the 13 questions
4. Tag 13 people to do the tag
5. Delete question 13, add a new number one question to your own
6. You are free to use the tag image somewhere in the post.



1) You're attending a fancy smancy Halloween party. Money is no issue, what costume do you choose?

I'd be one of the Ghostbusters complete with a proton pack replica. That's always been my dream costume. 

2) What’s your favorite thing about October?

I love the fact that once October starts, the prepping for Halloween starts. You see themed candies on sale in the store, you see horror movies becoming more popular, and it's now okay to start decorating. I like the fact that it starts to get colder and you can go on nice long walks with a cup of coffee. 

 3) Are you a big celebrator of Halloween?

Not as much as some, but a lot more than most. Thanks to my wife, the level of decorating done in the house has skyrocketed, but we also get more Halloween themed treats and start to primarily watch horror movies. The closer it gets to Halloween, the more themed TV shows like the Brooklyn Nine Nine heist episodes, 

4) What’s your favorite horror movie?

This one is very hard. My answer is very fluid as it always changes. I can tell you some of my favorites though! Thirteen Ghosts is a classic that is going back on my yearly rewatch list this year. The new Halloween and Halloween H2O are must watches for me. 

5) Would you rather a cozy night in watching horrors or a big night out in a costume?

Younger me would have said a big night out, but now that I'm an old old man  (37) I like a night in. I wouldn't be opposed to going out, but not spending the whole night out. At most, go out and have a few drinks then go home and watch movies and eat candy.

6) Which has been your most favorite costume to date?

I was never much for costumes because as I kid I was fixated on masks and my parents would buy me one, but that would be my whole costume budget so I'd just be in a t-shirt, jeans, and a mask. It wasn't until my adult years that I realized masks aren't all they're cracked up to be so I think my favorite costume was when I did an 11th Doctor (from Doctor Who) cosplay for an anime convention and used that again for Halloween.

7) Bobbing for apples or pin the hat on the witch?

Seeing as I have never heard of "pin the hat on the witch" I'd have to say bobbing for apples. I can guess that it's a "pin the tail on the donkey." Either way, bobbing for apples seems like more of an event. Though seeing as my wife is allergic to apples, it doesn't seem fair to play that without her.

8) How do you celebrate Halloween?

Movies, Food, Snacks. If someone I know is having a low-key party I may stop by, but usually I like to stay home and watch anything that gets me in the Halloween spirit. 

9) What’s your least favorite horror?

Anything Rob Zombie. I like his music but his movies are a bit much. It goes extreme for the sake of being extreme and that doesn't make it good or clever. The Nun also sucked. I love the Conjuringverse but The Nun sucked.

10) Do you have a favorite trick or treating memory?

Here's the thing. I have a terrible memory. Truly awful. I don't remember a lot of my childhood. But I DO have a favorite trick or treating memory. I was but a wee lad and my dad was chaperoning my friends and I for the night. We walked up to a house that had all the telltale signs of being open for business. The lights were on and there were decorations so it means open for business. So we walked up to the house and knocked... and nothing happened. We knocked again but that's when I noticed the scarecrow that was placed in a chair by the door. I noticed that between the glove and the shirt sleeve there was skin and hair. So I was about to point it out when the guy leaned forward and said "do you want some candy?" He scared the crap out of the group I was with but I was fine!

11) What’s your favorite thing about Halloween?

I love the mood. I love the ambiance of the season. I love watching scary movies back to back to back with junk food that I'd never allow myself so much of any other time of the year.

12) Scary costume or Silly costume?

It really depends. I think this is more of a mood decision. I've never really done a scary costume, opting more for a nerdy cosplay, but if I had a good idea, I'd totally go scary.

13) What’s your favorite Halloween candy?

Easy. The Reese's Pumpkin. There's more peanut butter in the pumpkin than a standard peanut butter cup. I also like the Resse's Ghosts since it's white chocolate which is a nice change.



Quick note about the questions. It seems most people have been deleting question 13 then adding their new question for 13, but the rules say "delete question 13 and add a new number one question." So, in true D&D fashion, I'm going with the rules as written and adding my question at the top.

My Questions

1) In the spirit of Freddy vs Jason, what is your dream horror villain match up?
2) You're attending a fancy smancy Halloween party. Money is no issue, what costume do you choose?
3) What’s your favorite thing about October?
4) Are you a big celebrator of Halloween?
5) What’s your favorite horror movie?
6) Would you rather a cozy night in watching horrors or a big night out in a costume?
7) Which has been your most favorite costume to date?
8) Bobbing for apples or pin the hat on the witch?
9) How do you celebrate Halloween?
10) What’s your least favorite horror?
11) Do you have a favorite trick or treating memory?
12) What’s your favorite thing about Halloween?
13) Scary costume or Silly costume?

When it comes to tagging people, I must admit that I don't know a lot of bloggers yet as I need to be more active in the community. That, and my wife and I know a lot of the same people so she steals all of my friends. So, instead, I tag you, my dear reader! If you are a blogger and have yet to be tagged, consider yourself tagged by me. 

Tenet | Movie Review

Saturday, 10 October 2020

 This movie was sitting, waiting to go for quite a while. We know that COVID pushed it back and that for a while the hype behind it claimed that it was going to single handedly save cinema. Theaters were hurting due to lockdown and this was the film that was going to bring everyone back. But it didn't go that way. America didn't get the pandemic under control and movie after movie got pushed back to 2021 and beyond. Some were released straight to VOD. But Tenet came out anyway. Here's my review.

Quick note. If audio is more your thing, I talked about this film as well as my experience going back to theaters on my podcast Future Flicks with Billiam which can be found anywhere you listen to podcasts. Look for Return to Theaters and Tenet Review - Ep 183



Armed with only one word, Tenet, and fighting for the survival of the entire world, a Protagonist journeys through a twilight world of international espionage on a mission that will unfold in something beyond real time. (Premise from IMDB).

This stars John David Washington (BlacKkKlansman), Robert Pattinson (The Twilight Saga), Elizabeth Debicki (Everest), Kenneth Branagh (Murder on the Orient Express), Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Godzilla), Himesh Patel (Yesterday), Michael Caine (The Dark Knight), and Indian actress Dimple Kapadia. It was written and directed by Christopher Nolan who did Inception and The Dark Knight trilogy.

Let's be honest, You know if you like Christopher Nolan's work already. If you like movies at all you've seen something he's done and by now you should know your feelings on his work. The question now is, how confusing is it?



Before the movie came out there were quite a few stories of the actors having no idea what the film was even about or how things worked within it, but that could have just been Nolan's strategy from preventing leaks. Michael Caine was only given his scene to work with and given nothing else of the plot. John David Washington was only allowed to read the script in Nolan's locked office. So the fact that no one on the cast really had a clue, doesn't surprise me.

I do have to be honest though, this film took a while for me to get into for one good reason. This begins faster than a coked up greyhound race and the protagonist (he's never given a name) just kind of goes along with it and knows what to do. He's told about the word tenet, he's introduced to a scientist that tells him how the weird time stuff works, he's told what he has to do, and he's just sent on his way without anything else. It's a jarring beginning to a film that could have used a little more to start with. The film was already two and half hours, would ten more minutes of exposition really been that bad?

But that aside, I eventually go it. I understood what was going on in the movie and I felt confident watching the film that I wasn't missing anything hugely important. I have no doubt that a rewatch will reveal even more to me, but one time through didn't leave me with any unanswerable plot related questions. 



The acting was phenomenal. John David Washington is the new hotness and he's already ready to explode. I wouldn't be surprised if he surpasses his dad in pure acting talent. His dad is Denzel Washington, if you didn't know. Robert Pattinson is further escaping his Twilight/Harry Potter past and showing us he's much more than a teen heartthrob, and everyone else involved was, at the very least, good. There were no wooden or lackluster performances in this movie. 

The cinematography was astounding with no wasted shots. Not once did I stop to wonder why we saw a certain scene or why anything was needed. Christopher Nolan knew what he wanted and it translated flawlessly to the screen. Nolan is no stranger to CG or other computer aided movie telling tools, but what sets him apart is his use of conventional means. Remember the scene in Inception when Joseph Gordon Levitt was walking up the walls? Do you also remember that was real and they built a rotating set for it? That's the kind of stuff that sets Nolan apart from other blockbuster directors. For certain scenes the actors had to learn how to speak backwards, they had to learn how to fight backwards, a lot of this was done conventionally and that will only add to the film's longevity. 

 Tenet was fantastic. I loved it. I loved it even more once I got passed the slightly confusing beginning. Do I love it more than Inception or The Dark Knight trilogy? Maybe not. But this was a fantastic film that was well worth a watch. Yes, you should watch this. Yes, you should own this, and yes, you should watch this more than once.

Tenet gets a 10 out of 11


15 Books I'd Banish

Sunday, 3 November 2019

Anne and I decided we wanted to make a list of books we hated, thus a list of books we’d throw out. If you want to read her blog, which I highly suggest you do, you can find it here. Otherwise, please enjoy the list of books that either enraged me, disappointing me, or bored me to death.
1. The Light Between Oceans by M L Steadman 
Writing a tragic story doesn’t make you an interesting writer M L Steadman! Look at me, I’m so edgy. My characters lead awful lives. No. All you did was tell a pointless story. I chucked this book across the room when I finished because I was so angry. It’s not just that it’s a tragedy. I can handle tragedy. It’s the fact that it was all meaningless.
2. Armada by Ernest Cline
I had so much hope. So much hope. But this awfully written book full of way too many nods to 80’s and 90’s pop culture wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on. Ready Player One was so good yet this book fell shorter than a leprechaun at an Olympic long jump. The first half of the book moves slower than an arthritic sloth and the second half moves faster than a hummingbird after an espresso. The characters were awful, the story was promising but flawed, and the conclusion was as unsatisfying as a happy ending from Freddy Krueger.
3. Wrong About Japan by Peter Carey
I love me some Japanese stuff. I’m only a hapa but I lean towards my Japanese side much more than I do my Swedish side. I went into this book hopeful as it was the story of a white dude taking his kid to Japan and what they experienced. What I actually read was a travesty. Peter Carey is an ass who had all these preconceived notions about Japan and when the reality didn’t meet his expectations he had the audacity to call the Japanese wrong.
These are best used for kindling
4. Catcher in the Rye by J D Salinger
I don’t get it. I don’t understand why this book is so popular. It’s just the story of some asshat who doesn’t deserve our sympathy or attention. There is nothing about Holden Caulfield that deserves to be read. “But Billiam, he’s an icon for teenage rebellion and angst!” No! He’s a whiny bitch who needs a smack upside the head and Catcher in the Rye is a pointless book that should never have been written. It should continue to be taught in schools as an example of what not to do.
5. The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley
I picked this up because it’s supposed to be a classic fantasy book. I went into it expecting to read a great old fantasy book, but what I actually read was a rushed and incomplete story that needed more work than the house from The Money PitThe Blue Sword is a lazy story that suffered from unforgivably lazy tropes. No likable characters, no development, and a questionably Stockholm syndromish love story. 
6. A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Again, I ask, why is this a classic? The story had promise but never gets off the ground. When I finished the book I felt let down and turned to (but didn’t read) the sequel. I thought the next book, A Wind in the Door, would be part 2 of the same story, but it’s a new tale. We’re supposed to be impressed that A Wrinkle In Time had math and science in it. Oooh, aaah, fancy. It’s a poorly written story that’s so short, none of the ideas get to blossom.
7. Animal Farm by George Orwell
Am I supposed to be impressed that the book was an allegorical commentary on what’s wrong with communism as represented by communist Russia? Well, I’m not. I think a history book would have been a better read. Orwell is so heavy handed with the allegory that he forgot he should still write an interesting story. This is the book that pretentious people claim they like. 
I’m not an animal. I’d recycle them, not throw them away.
8. Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie
Why is this a classic? I get why the Disney  movie is a classic. I understand why the play and other iterations of it are classics. But the actual story is weird, creepy, and about as fleshed out and complete as a Fifty Shades fanfic. The story is lack luster and Peter comes across as more of a villain than even Hook does. 
9. Goblin Fruit by S. E. Burr
This could have been an interesting idea. It could have tackled the idea of drugs and addiction in an urban fantasy narrative but instead it’s a short and skippable book that reads like it was written by a middle school student who never got their work corrected by a teacher. This book was awful. S. E. Burr is a horrible writer.
10. Neuromancer by William Gibson
“But Billiam!” You may be saying. “It’s a classic!” Yeah. I know. It still sucked. The story moved slower than an arthritic sloth and was more convoluted than Apple’s terms and conditions. It moved too slow to be interesting. There’s a good story hidden somewhere in William Gibson’s mess. But we’ll never see it.
11. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by Jack Thorne, John Tiffany, and J.  K. Rowling
It seems that anything post-Deathly Hallows has been a disappointment (with an exception given to the first Fantastic Beasts movie.). This was the biggest disappointment. I was looking forward to reading about all my old favorite characters and learning about new ones and the adventure they have, but it wasn’t meant to be. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was written like bad fan-fiction. It had a good idea buried somewhere in the maelstrom of bad ideas and poor executions. The fact that it was never turned into a novel (it’s presented as the original script) only made it all worse. It’s a bad idea. If you love Harry Potter, just reread the books.
12. The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury
I was looking forward to this one. A Halloween themed book by Ray Bradbury? What’s not to love? Turns out… a lot. As I read it, I could tell Bradbury wanted to be fanciful and poetic but it falls flat. The story is so weird that it zaps any enjoyment out of the short book. As I read the book, I reread chunks because I thought I was missing something. The only thing that was missing was a good story.
I don’t own any copies of these last books. So have about a picture of Oscar the Grouch?
13. The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Cormac McCarthy is a hack. This is the first book that I can remember not finishing. This was assigned reading in a college class I took and I remember reading summaries of the last half of the book just so I can participate in class discussions and write essays about it. Maybe one day I’ll give it another shot since it’s been over fifteen years since I put it down. But for now it stays on my list of most hated books.
14. The Two Towers by J. R. R. Tolkien
I loved The Hobbit. I enjoyed The Lord of the Rings. But Tolkien lost me in the history book masquerading as a fantasy novel called The Two Towers. There were very interesting and enjoyable parts in this book but all the good was marred by force fed history that belonged in a companion book. I’ve commented once or twice that Stephen King gives us a lot of back story and that it doesn’t always matter. Well Tolkien puts even King’s biggest tangent to shame.
15. Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire
This book was a tragedy. It’s a waste of paper. I weep for the trees that lost their lives to print this drivel. You can read my full review by following the link down below, but to make a long story short let me say this: It’s a great idea that was written by an amateur who never had the benefit of anyone telling her she sucks at writing.

5 Star Book Predictions


This is another dual blog post with Rooting Branches. You can find her blog here. We were supposed to both post this on Sunday, but i’m awful and thus, didn’t. But I digress. In this one we predict which books we want to read this year that we’re certain we’re going to love and thus, give five stars to. The rules for this are that it has to already been on our To Be Read (TBR) list and we can’t have read it before. I decided to try, keyword try, to limit the number of books in series on this list because that’s kind of an easy out. If I loved the first book in the series, chances are I’ll love the second. So let’s not wait any longer and get on with the list.
1. Dragon Teeth by Michael Crichton


Michael Crichton is best known for writing Jurassic Park and The Lost World. He was arguably one of the most prolific Science Fiction and Thriller writers even today. He’s also responsible for shows and movies like Twister, Westworld, and ER. I’ve never read a book of his that I hated so I’m positive I’ll love this one. Crichton passed away in 2008 and since then three novels were found. Pirate Latitudes, Micro, and Dragon Teeth. 
This book is a step away from what he’s best known for but it’s still in his wheelhouse. Dragon Teeth is about a young student from Yale who gets caught in the middle of a war between two world-renowned paleontologists and must survive in the Wild West after being stranded by paleontologist Othniel Charles Marsh because Marsh thinks William Johnson, the kid, is a spy for his rival.
While it may not be as gripping of a premise as Jurassic Park, or Congo. I know I’ll love this book because of Crichton’s amazing storytelling skills and the fact that I’ve loved everything I’ve ever read by him. So that’s why it’s first on my list.
2. A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers.


I almost consider this cheating. Becky Chambers’s first book The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, is on the short list of my favorite books of all time and it may even be my favorite Sci-fi book (the jury is still out on that one). This is the second book in The Wayfarers series so I know it will take place in the same universe. Since it’s a universe I already love, this book is a shoo-in for a surefire five star book.
3. Elantris by Brandon Sanderson


I know. I’m terrible. I call myself a fan of his but I haven’t read what is considered to be his masterpiece. I have never read something by Brandon Sanderson that I haven’t loved and this, being considered one of his best, is a sure-fire five star book.
4. Space Opera by Catherynne M. Valente


Let’s turn a blind eye to the fact that Catherynne’s parents can’t spell and instead turn to the fact that this book sounds awesome. Every cycle (however long that is) there’s a Metagalactic Grand Prix which is part gladiatorial contest, part beauty pageant, part concert extravaganza, and part continuation of a historic war. Human kind is finally part of the galactic community and must compete. Earth picks a one hit wonder band from London to represent them. The fate of the species rest on their ability to rock.
Come on. Do I need to say anything else? What’s not to love?
5. Final Girls by Riley Sager


Riley Sager is an author I was introduced to earlier this year when I read his follow-up to Final Girls called The Last Time I Lied. The only thing the two books have in common are that they’re both mystery/thrillers, they have female main characters, and there are horror elements in them. This book is about a girl who survives a massacre and inexplicably joins a group called the Final Girls. Girls who survived horror movie situations. One day, one by one, they start dying and Quincy, the latest member of the group, must find out what’s killing them before it comes for her.
That sounds bad ass. I already know I like Riley Sager’s writing. I ate up The Last Time I Lied faster than Johnny 5.
6. The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah


This is one of Anne’s favorite books and I trust her judgement. She knows what kind of books I like. I know she’d never have recommended it to me if she didn’t think I’d like it. Let’s be honest. It’s nerve racking giving one of your favorite books to someone to read. What if they don’t like it? But I’m certain I’ll love this book.
The Nightingale is a WWII historical fiction novel that follows the story of two sisters. One is a mother and a wife. Her husband is part of the fight on the front lines and she is in German occupied France and must do what she can to protect her child. Her sister is a rebellious and reckless eighteen year old who finds herself as part of the resistance and in more danger than she’s ever been in before.
This sounds like a winner to me.
Those are the only books I can think of, thus far, but as a true reader I’m always adding books my TBR. That means sooner or later I’ll have another collection of possible five star reads for your reading pleasure.
Once again, don’t forget to check out Anne’s version of this very blog which she was good about and posted on the day we said we’d post it. You can find that here.

Dreamcatcher by Stephen King | Book & Movie Review


I’ve said this before and I’ll probably say it every time I do a review of anything Stephen King related. He’s written a lot of books. Some of them are very well known like IT, The Stand, 11/22/63, or The Dark Tower series. But others aren’t so well known. Dreamcatcher falls somewhere in the middle of that. Everyone I’ve mentioned it to reacts about the same way. “Oh yeah! I forgot about that one.” The reason that so many people may recognize the name of this book could be that either they’re avid readers, or they remember when the movie came out, and have since forgot about it.

So happy. So full of optimism.

I’ve both read the book and watched the movie so I thought I’d do a rare book and movie review. Let’s get the premise out of the way so you’ll know what it’s about. A group of four men, friends since childhood, are on their yearly hunting trip. One of the friends stumbles upon a lost and confused man and he decides to help him out and bring him back to their cabin. That’s the beginning of the end. What they don’t know is that an alien ship has crashed in the forest and is spreading a quickly growing fungus that takes over anyone who gets in contact with it, and the lost man has been infected. The four old friends get caught up in the middle of a situation that seems like it has no good way out, but something they did when they were children, a good deed, may just help them in the present day.


Dreamcatcher: The Movie

Even though the book came out before the movie did, I want to talk about the movie first because I want to end this blog on a high note.

Dreamcatcher is a movie from 2003 directed by Lawrence Kasdan. The screenplay was written by William Goldman and Lawrence Kasdan and it stars Thomas Jane (Deep Blue Sea), Damian Lewis (Homeland), Timothy Olyphant (Santa Clarita Diet), Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl), Morgan Freeman (Se7en), Tom Sizemore (Saving Private Ryan), and Donnie Wahlberg (Blue Bloods).

This movie has all signs pointing to it being a good movie. Kasdan is known for movies like The Big Chill, Wyatt Earp, and French Kiss. Those are good movies. William Goldman was written movies like Butch Cassity and the Sundance Kid, All The Presidents Men, The Princess Bride, and The Ghost and the Darkness. More good movies. The cast is made up of good actors. The book its based on is a classic Stephen King novel. So what went wrong?

I’ll tell you what went wrong. They tried to cram a six hundred and seventeen page tome into a two hour and fourteen minute movie. It’s a big book and the movie, while it was a standard length, couldn’t even begin to tackle the story King told in the pages of his book.

The acting was good, probably the best part of the movie. But The story never got off the ground. It had to move too fast and, as a result, I never once cared about anyone. More of King’s work should either be broken into two movies like IT was (both times), or a show or mini-series because King’s stories are so deep and require more than a couple hours to tell a story.

This was a bad movie and I hate to say that in considering the pedigree of the cast. Even if you read and love the book. Even if you finish it and need more of it in your life, don’t watch this movie. It’s not worth your time. The only good thing this movie did was put faces to the characters so my lazy ass didn’t have to imagine them myself.

I figure that if I never read the book, I may have given this movie a higher score. But after reading the book I was so disappointed that I was unable to separate the two. Either way, it’s not a good movie and would have received, at best, a 5.

Dreamcatcher gets a 3 out of 11



Dreamcatcher: The Book

Okay. Let’s talk about something good. In fact, let’s talk about something great. Dreamcatcher by Stephen King is a commitment (though not as big of one as The Stand or IT is) but it’s well worth it.


The premise is the same so I have nothing to add there. But lucky for us, the book does. This book tells a well thought out and well paced story that kept me turning the pages night after night until it all finished. One problem some people have with Mr. Kings work is his love of diving into the history and back stories of places and characters that we don’t really need. Those of us who love King’s work don’t mind that facet of his style but those who aren’t huge fans or are on the fence with his work may find that part of his style a little exasperating. I bring that up because I believe that Dreamcatcher avoids what books like IT had so much of. He dives deep like he normally does, but he reigns it in a bit more than with his lengthier work. Do we really need the back story of someone who’s going to die moments after being introduced? No we don’t.

I found the ending to this book to be a tad (just a tad) predictable but I’m happy to say that I didn’t fully guess it. The path the story took is a path that I saw coming based on the foreshadowing in the characters’s pasts but how it all ended wasn’t what I predicted.

One thing I really enjoyed about the book was how the story jumped between the childhood and the present day for the characters and that you can see how they became the adults they did. It’s at times inspiring when you see that these childhood friends are still close. At times it’s also heartbreaking when you see those friends that got left behind.

Oh! Here’s something I forgot to mention in the movie section. I think the writers had sh*t for brains, not only because they did a hack job on a great story, but they messed up the ending too. Don’t worry, there will be no spoilers here. All I’ll say is that they completely changed how one character affected the story and in the dumbest way possible. It actually made me angry when the finale happened because it didn’t give the same satisfaction the ending of the book did.

The ending of the book did get a little odd, but it fit. And even though it was odd, it wasn’t stupid. The writers of the movie took the odd but good ending and turned it into a giant joke.

It wasn’t even a fair fight. The movie didn’t stand a chance.

This book was enjoyable from beginning to end and kept me invested the whole time. It’s not King’s best work, but that doesn’t mean it was bad at all. I could list a bunch of his books that were better, but this was still good.

Also, if you’re a Stephen King fan, or even just remotely familiar with his work, you’ll enjoy the tiny Easter eggs he drops in his work. The main characters were born and raised in Derry, Maine. Sound familiar? There’s a radio station they sometimes listen to that comes out of Castle Rock. That’s one of the best parts of reading a book by King is trying to find all of these small hints at his greater universe. One of his short stories called UR is linked, ever so slightly, to the Dark Tower series. Pet Sematary has mention of a rabid dog in the town of Castle Rock. Cujo anyone?

But I digress, Dreamcatcher is a good book but if you’re not familiar with King’s work I would suggest picking up something like 11/22/63 or The Stand first. They may be epically long books, but they’re some of his best.

Dreamcatcher was good and I recommend it. It’s a good story that manages to avoid being as long and drawn out as some of his other works but it still tells a complete and enjoyable story.


Dreamcatcher by Stephen King gets an 9 out of 11

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